One of the hidden things that keep us
from living an abundant life is unforgiveness. We all have people in our lives that
have hurt us. No matter who did what, we must forgive people so that we can
move forward to inherit the blessings God has for us.
In our own minds, we all have reasons
why we cannot forgive the offender. I can hear you say, “Sandy, you don’t know what he did to me.” No, I don’t but if you
don’t forgive it will hinder your own life. When we harbor bitterness, anger
and resentment toward others, we’re sabotaging our own future.
One of the main reasons we should
forgive people is for our own good. You can say forgiveness is a selfish thing.
As long as we hold a grudge or resentment against our offender, we are allowing
that person to have control over us. It’s bad enough to be offended once, how
miserable it is to feel the pain over and over because we wouldn’t forgive. When
you forgive you set a prisoner free – that prisoner is you. No matter what
motivates you, learn to forgive people.
People often find it hard to forgive
because we’ve been told we have to forgive immediately. It’s true that the
sooner you forgive the lesser you’ll have to deal with the pain. But
forgiveness doesn’t have to be instant. In most cases, forgiveness is a
process. First, you make up your mind to forgive. Then you start the process of
removing the memory of the pain. Decide to forgive is easy. Erasing the memory
is not so easy. This is why we need God to help us forgive others.
When people offend us it is like a
burn. It takes a split second to get a burn but the pain remains for days and
even weeks. Sometimes the burn stings longer than the original offense. The more
we ponder and play it in our mind, the longer we’ll carry that offense. One way
we can erase the memory of the pain is to stop replaying the offence like a
broken record in our brain. Every time we re-live the offence, we’re scratching
an old wound to reopen. A better way to deal with an offense is to switch off
your mind to a victory channel. You’re not a victim, you’re a victor!
Another way we can forgive an offense
is to stop talking about it. Every time we start up a conversation about the
incident, we’re giving it longevity. Don’t go around saying, “Girlfriend, let me tell you what so and so
did to me thirteen years ago!” No, when we keep talking about the offense
we’re keeping it alive in life support. At some point (sooner the better) you
have to stop talking about it.
For a Christian, forgiveness is a
choice but it is not an option. Understand that God expects us to forgive
because we have our own need to be forgiven. The Lord’s Prayer teaches us to
forgive others even as God forgives us. Truth is we’ve hurt others. We want
others to forgive us. When we don’t extend to others what we receive from God,
we’re being out of balance. Get rid of the poison that you now harbor. The only
way to be really happy and free is to forgive the people who have hurt you. Release
them to the Lord. Let it go. If we don’t forgive, we will forfeit the full
blessing God has for us. Start the process today and you’ll be free the rest of
your life. I know you can. I’m proud of you!
“Work at
getting along with each other and with God. Otherwise you’ll never get so much
as a glimpse of God. Make sure no one gets left out of God’s generosity. Keep a
sharp eye out for weeds of bitter discontent. A thistle or two gone to seed can
ruin a whole garden in no time. Watch out for the Esau syndrome: trading away
God’s lifelong gift in order to satisfy a short-term appetite. You well know
how Esau later regretted that impulsive act and wanted God’s blessing—but by
then it was too late, tears or no tears” (Hebrews
12:14-17 The Message).
What
are your thoughts?
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