Building People. Spreading Hope.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Dealing with Conflict at Work


People come to work with baggage. Lack of sleep, heavy traffic, a sick child at home or a fight with a spouse can cause people to be tense coming to work. If we’re not intentional, we drag our sour attitude to work and make everybody miserable.  

When we are dishing out poison, the issue is never the issue. On the surface someone can lose fuse over something small but most of the time it’s a deeper issue that troubles them. Today I want to discuss a few keys dealing with conflict at work.

If it’s a onetime offense let it go. Nobody likes to deal with conflict, especially men! I know it comes as a surprise to many but we’d rather ignore or pretend there’s a problem than to deal with it. Before you make a confrontation, consider letting it go. Most problems have a way of working themselves out. Confrontation can only cause a new set of problems that you may not want to deal with.

If it’s a regular irritation, bring it up. Spending eight hours a day, five days a week is a lot of time trying to avoid a boss or a co-worker. Instead of living in denial, make the problem visible. Ask to go out of your workplace into a public restaurant (that way nobody gets to shout) for coffee or lunch to hash things out. Try diplomacy and find a win-win solution. Nobody wants to be proven wrong. Say something like, “I know you didn’t mean to do this…” or “I’m sure you had some great idea behind this decision but help me understand why…” Seek to understand first before you seek to be understood.

Do not correct or vent in front of others or in social media. It’s one thing to say something in the passing to but it’s dangerous to keep going on about it. Everybody has a momentary frustration but don’t make it the chorus for the day. The Bible teaches us to first go to the offender alone. Don’t try to recruit others to take your side when you haven’t even talked your offender.

Forgive quickly. Once I was really upset at a co-worker and I let her have it. I renounced my Christianity for five minutes and shredded the person to pieces! Then I stomped into my boss’s office and chewed him up for allowing a jerk like my co-worker to work with us. I called choice names and shook my fist in front of him. My boss was dumbfounded! I was the number one producer. I never behaved liked that. Honestly, I had issues outside work. I was projecting. I was the jerk. Fifteen minutes later the Holy Spirit had me ask for forgiveness from both of them. It was embarrassing but I did it. Forgive quickly and be quick to ask for forgiveness.

Give the same grace you need. Whatever we sow we will reap. Today you may be an employee, tomorrow God will put you in-charge of the whole company. How you treat others today is how others will pay you back tomorrow. We all have weaknesses. Let’s not seek revenge. Let’s show grace and mercy so that the same will come back to us, good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over.

Conflict won’t kill you but it saps the joy and energy of today!

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves” (Philippians 2:3 NIV).

Change the World with the Message of Hope: www.buildinternational.org

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