Strife is a silent offender that hangs
around homes, marriages, businesses and even in churches. It causes all sorts
of dispute, arguing and meanness. If continued, strife’s venom is a slow but
a sure killer. This is why we must nip strife at the bud.
It is humbling for me to admit but I
used to be a champion at producing strife. I made certain people’s lives miserable
around me. If other’s had a different opinion on things that mattered to me, I
would make sure to prove my opinion superior. I was full of pride and insecure
in my core. Looking back, I’m ashamed of the pain I caused in people I loved
and cared about. I’m still not where I need to be but thank God for the
progress I’ve made in this area. Thank God for His mercy.
I’m not talking about you but I see
many people struggling with strife and they don’t even realize it! When we are
too focused on our own ways, we create strife. People with strong convictions or
those who tend to be perfectionists can be tempted with strife easily. Not that
we cannot have strong opinions and excellence but when we think ours is the
only way, we fall victim of creating strife. I have identified three key areas
where strife begins.
1. Insecurity. A great cause of strife
is lack of self-confidence and insecurity. I used to be an extremely insecure
person. I had abandonment issues from my childhood and I didn’t want to be seen
vulnerable to anybody. When others pointed out my weaknesses I would be so aggressive
to quench that accusation. My greatest mistakes in life stemmed from my insecurity.
How I lament those days! Now I thank God daily for making me secure in Him. My
identity comes from my Master. I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. What a
freeing way to live!
2. Pride. When we operate in the
spirit of pride, we think of ourselves better than others. Our attitude becomes
superior to others. When I was operating in strife, I had this thought playing
in my head, “I’ll teach you!” Pride sucks
the life out of those around you and it’s a killer. Pride always belittles
others but worst, it belittles you!
3. Control. A controlling spirit is
from the pit of hell. God gives us freewill. When we cannot accept the way
other people, think, talk and act, we’re being controlling and exerting our
superiority over others. This is a very dangerous way to live. We’re quenching
the growth in others and hindering them to blossom. Control breaks down communications
and relationships faster than the bite of a venomous serpent.
Now that we’ve identified some of the
root causes of strife, what are the remedies? Here’s the bottom line - make a
personal growth plan and ask God to rid you of insecurity, pride and control.
It’s not going to be overnight and it may even get worse before you get better
but there is hope. I’m the living example of God’s mercy!
Low life has a high cost of maintenance.
Give up the low life. Have no part in strife. When you get rid of strife, you’ll be amazed what a
freeing way to live life without strife!
“It is to one's honor to avoid strife,
but every fool is quick to quarrel” (Proverbs 20:3 NIV).
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