We live in a society where even the definition of
marriage is being challenged by secularism. A simple and age-old definition of
marriage is the formal union of a man and a woman, typically recognized by law,
by which they become husband and wife.
A good marriage can be the most fulfilling thing in life.
A bad marriage can be equally dissatisfying and make life hell on earth. With
the help of God, and a little bit of work on our part, a bad marriage can be
good and a good marriage can be better. Today let’s look at a few principles
that make a marriage work.
1. Build trust. A marriage is the most
intimate relationship on earth. Therefore, it requires highest degree of trust.
When we’re building each other based on trust, we’re empowering a marriage. Trust
is simply believing, accepting, and cheering for the best in the other person.
Trust can be earned but it’s at its best when it is a gift. We can allow bitter
experiences of the past to poison our marriage or we can rebuild with the gift
of trust. If we’re to have a good marriage, we have to work on building trust. God
trusts us; shouldn’t we trust each other?
2. Have fun. We all know couples who don’t
have the love, respect, or intimacy they once had. They’re not thriving,
they’re just surviving. This is a sad waste of time, effort, and energy. When
we’re in a below-par marriage, we’re wasting a beautiful thing God gave us to
enjoy. Any marriage can be reignited and exhilarating again. Date one another. Enjoy,
not endure. Do fun things together. If your marriage is struggling, then I want
to infuse new hope into your relationship. Loosen up and see your marriage transformed!
3. Forgive quickly and frequently. Karma is people getting what they deserve. Christianity is Jesus getting
what we deserve! Let people off the hook. The Bible says, “Love does not demand
its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged” (I Corinthians 13:5 NLT). Every good
marriage requires quick and unlimited forgiveness. When we forgive, we don’t
bring up and punish people for the same “crime” again and again. If you struggle
with forgiveness, remind yourself how God forgives you every day. Forgive your
spouse the way God forgives you. Alexander Pope, a British poet from the
sixteenth century said, “To err is human;
to forgive, divine.” You can try to get even or you can try to be like God!
4. Revisit your expectations. Life
comes in seasons. What was once essential is now obsolete. Many couples are
working very hard but they’re shooting in the dark and it’s making them
frustrated. It is healthy to talk about each other’s expectations. Create a safe
environment to talk. Take your guards down and communicate your current needs
and aspirations with each other. Most couples work hard at pleasing each other.
However, they’re often trying to give what they want for themselves. Learn to adapt
to the preferences of your spouse. I recommend that you revisit and write down
your expectations every 3-5 years. Stay fresh. Stay current. Stay connected.
Remember, no one person on earth can give you everything you need. Only God
reserves that right!
5. Get rid of selfishness and pride. This is elementary but an alarming number of marriages are stuck in this
low level. The Scripture says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain
conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves” (Philippians
2:3). You can be right or you can have peace. Peace is superior. Another
definition of marriage is death to self! If you want peace, pleasure and
prosperity, die to your selfishness and pride. Find ways to unite and shun what
divides.
Friend, whether you’re married or single, these
principles will build a strong marriage. Shake off the hopelessness and the
disappointments. Today is a new day. People change for the better. You can take
no chances and have a mediocre life or you can make some changes and revitalize
your marriage like never before.
Trust. Forgive. Communicate. Have some fun. Give your marriage a total makeover.
I pray for a baptism of God’s love to seal your marriage. I declare peace,
passion, and prosperity to rekindle your love life. Embrace the spouse God has
given you and you’ll live happily ever after. I love you and I’m praying for
your marriage to prosper.
“Wives,
understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ.
Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the
church—a love marked by giving, not getting” (Ephesians 5:
22, 25 The Message).
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