Successful people are great
communicators. If we want to be effective in life, we have to be excellent
conversationalist. A good conversationalist will make sure that the dialogue is
balanced and benefiting both parties.
We all have been with people when the
conversation has been all one sided. People don’t realize this but nothing is more
disrespectful than to hog all the time in a meeting. This happens in a church
group, office meeting and even between friends. What can we learn to become a great
conversationalist?
Whoever
asks questions controls the conversation.
Most people tend to speak of themselves and their achievements. When we find a
person to unload, we feel better about ourselves. When other people give us
their undivided attention, we feel valued. This is great for our own
self-esteem. However, if you want to be a great conversationalist, learn to ask
questions pertaining to the person sitting in front of you. Learn to converse
in a broad range of topic. Ask questions on various issues. Learn about their
hobbies, likes and dislikes. When we engage others in open ended questions,
they feel at ease and give out information that can help us in the long run.
Listen
with your eyes. The Bible teaches
us that our eyes are the window to our soul. When we look people in the eye and
listen to them, we’re adding value to that person. This means you have to take
your eyes off the computer, newspaper, TV or the spreadsheet. Listening to people
with an undivided attention is a lost art and yet it is so vital to becoming a
great conversationalist. If you want to have a great conversation, turn off the
phone, stop looking over people’s shoulders in search of a higher net worth
person and don’t give into the distractions of your surroundings. A great
conversationalist will look you in the eye and give you their undivided
attention.
Pass
the conversation ball. People have a
difficult time communicating what they really want to say. So they ramble! What
we forget is people have short attention span. One of the best etiquettes of
communication is to pass the conversation ball every two to three minutes. If
you speak in short intervals it’s easier for people to grasp what you’re trying
to say. When we stop talking and ask the other person’s input in the conversation,
we’re empowering them to contribute to the conversation. After I make a point, I
frequently ask, “What do you think?” This
makes the communication a two way street and more enjoyable. Don’t hog the time. If you do it
repeatedly, people will stop hanging out with you. Be social. Pass the
conversation ball in few minutes interval.
Start
and end conversation on a positive note.
Nothing sinks a great conversation than talking about negative things. Great
minds speak ideas. Small minds talk about people! We’re surrounded by negative
things happening around us that are beyond our control. Don’t get drawn into a
negative spirit. Criticism never fixed anything. You’re not required to fix
what you’re not responsible for. God didn’t call us to “police the world.” Keep it fresh, positive and uplifting. Keep it inspiring!
Tell short stories. Inject some humor. Laugh together but not at people. Do not
be sarcastic.
Show
compassion. A great conversation is one
when you show compassion to the person who is going through a rough patch. You cannot solve everyone’s problems but
empathy goes a long way! Don’t just be a passive listener; offer practical
solutions. That’s what our Master did while on earth. He went about doing good…
Before He did miracles of healing, He was good to people. If we want to be like
Jesus, we have to have a heart of compassion. Offer solution, open doors, put
in a good word. What you do for others, God will make happen for you. Let’s be
great conversationalist so we all can build a better world around us.
“Rejoice
with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep”
(Romans 12:15 ESV).
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