Building People. Spreading Hope.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

How to Be a Great Conversationalist


Successful people are great communicators. If we want to be effective in life, we have to be excellent conversationalist. A good conversationalist will make sure that the dialogue is balanced and benefiting both parties.

We all have been with people when the conversation has been all one sided. People don’t realize this but nothing is more disrespectful than to hog all the time in a meeting. This happens in a church group, office meeting and even between friends. What can we learn to become a great conversationalist?

Whoever asks questions controls the conversation. Most people tend to speak of themselves and their achievements. When we find a person to unload, we feel better about ourselves. When other people give us their undivided attention, we feel valued. This is great for our own self-esteem. However, if you want to be a great conversationalist, learn to ask questions pertaining to the person sitting in front of you. Learn to converse in a broad range of topic. Ask questions on various issues. Learn about their hobbies, likes and dislikes. When we engage others in open ended questions, they feel at ease and give out information that can help us in the long run.

Listen with your eyes. The Bible teaches us that our eyes are the window to our soul. When we look people in the eye and listen to them, we’re adding value to that person. This means you have to take your eyes off the computer, newspaper, TV or the spreadsheet. Listening to people with an undivided attention is a lost art and yet it is so vital to becoming a great conversationalist. If you want to have a great conversation, turn off the phone, stop looking over people’s shoulders in search of a higher net worth person and don’t give into the distractions of your surroundings. A great conversationalist will look you in the eye and give you their undivided attention.

Pass the conversation ball. People have a difficult time communicating what they really want to say. So they ramble! What we forget is people have short attention span. One of the best etiquettes of communication is to pass the conversation ball every two to three minutes. If you speak in short intervals it’s easier for people to grasp what you’re trying to say. When we stop talking and ask the other person’s input in the conversation, we’re empowering them to contribute to the conversation. After I make a point, I frequently ask, “What do you think?” This makes the communication a two way street and more enjoyable. Don’t hog the time. If you do it repeatedly, people will stop hanging out with you. Be social. Pass the conversation ball in few minutes interval.

Start and end conversation on a positive note. Nothing sinks a great conversation than talking about negative things. Great minds speak ideas. Small minds talk about people! We’re surrounded by negative things happening around us that are beyond our control. Don’t get drawn into a negative spirit. Criticism never fixed anything. You’re not required to fix what you’re not responsible for. God didn’t call us to “police the world.” Keep it fresh, positive and uplifting. Keep it inspiring! Tell short stories. Inject some humor. Laugh together but not at people. Do not be sarcastic.

Show compassion. A great conversation is one when you show compassion to the person who is going through a rough patch. You cannot solve everyone’s problems but empathy goes a long way! Don’t just be a passive listener; offer practical solutions. That’s what our Master did while on earth. He went about doing good… Before He did miracles of healing, He was good to people. If we want to be like Jesus, we have to have a heart of compassion. Offer solution, open doors, put in a good word. What you do for others, God will make happen for you. Let’s be great conversationalist so we all can build a better world around us.

“Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15 ESV).

Click Here to Change the World: www.buildinternational.org

No comments:

Post a Comment