Choose Your Friends Wisely

Friendships are a wonderful thing. Friends we choose can lift us up or pull us down. It’s not only enough to have a lot of friends but we need quality friends who will inspire us to be all God has made us to be.

Friendships are a dime a dozen but when you find a true friend it’s like finding a pearl in a great big ocean. People you hang around you can bring out the best in you or worst in you. This is why it is so important for us to be careful about our friendships. Here are a few tips on friendship.

If you want friends, you have to be a friend first. Everyone wants the other person to reach out first. You can easily take control of the situation by extending your friendship. When you find a person who is compatible to your lifestyle, don’t hesitate to connect. Ask for their friendship and start to cultivate it. Don’t go too fast; don’t go too slow. Like everything else, friendship is a balance.

What you sent out is what you get back. Friendships are like echoes. If you take the time to call, visit, send messages, text, take initiative to get together then the other person is more likely to do the same with you. Don’t worry about whose turn it is. Be pro-active. Don’t just say, “We need to get together.” Put a date on the calendar to meet for coffee, lunch or dinner. Treat these appointments seriously. If you’re always finding excuses not to get together, you’re probably not interested in that person. Be honest and let them know. Don’t lead people on.

Make friends with people who are different than you. If your entire friends look like you, speak the same language, eat the same food as you and live the same lifestyle, your world is too small. If you’re always the biggest fish in the tank, you need a bigger tank. Make sure to have a good balance of friends. You need to have some friends whom you look up to. We also need friends whom we can inspire. Find your genius club (inner circle of friends) and communicate with them frequently.

Friendships come in seasons. Not all friendships are for a lifetime. In fact, very few are! Don’t get bitter when one friendship dies. Celebrate the people in your life now. Be grateful for friends who have been there in the past. And thank God for the friends who are going to show up in the future. Never burn bridges when a friendship starts to cool down. Stay open but don’t get stuck. Move forward with an attitude of gratitude.

Celebrate the gift of good bye. (I’m not talking marriage). Some friendships start off well but over time it becomes toxic. If a friendship is draining you more than it’s uplifting you, it may be time for you to slowly pull back. Be loyal but don’t be a fool. You may be strong but you’ll become like the people you hang around with. The Bible says, “Bad company corrupts good character” (1 Corinthians 15:33). Toxic people will contaminate you. They’ll hold you back from your destiny. You’re God’s treasure chest not the devil’s garbage can. Be friendly to all but choose your inner circle carefully.

Cultivate your friendships. Whatever you don’t maintain will eventually fall apart. Don’t expect a friendship to blossom without putting any effort into it. Whatever you put in is what you’ll get out of it. There are many ways you can revitalize your friendship. Make a phone call today. Invite someone to coffee, lunch or dinner. Be hospitable at home. Send a card. Buy a small gift. Play a game of golf together. There are many ways you can develop and seal your friendship. If you’re in a relationship, don’t neglect your other friends. One day you’ll need them again.

One of the best friendships you can have is spiritual friends. When our friendships are based on God’s principles it becomes divine. David and Jonathan are good examples of that. Find friends to invest in and they will invest their lives back into you. I thank God for a friend like you!

 

“Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 NLT).

 

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20 Facebook Etiquettes (Part II)

Yesterday, we started talking about Facebook etiquettes that I shared with my 15-year-old daughter to make her online experience more enjoyable. What we say, how we say, when we say and whom we say what we say are very crucial. We can impact a lot of lives simply by being a little cautious before we bare our minds to the world. Here are a few more tips that might help you…

11. Engage. Be generous with your “likes, comments and share” Just like you, people are looking for approval. When you “like” you’re saying, “I believe in you. I agree with your feelings. I endorse your thoughts, work and hobby.”

12. Talk to the wall! Write on your friends’ wall, simply to check on them or encourage them. My friend Jay is excellent with that. Wish people Happy Birthday and engage with their interests. Post a link on what they’re interested in.

13. Promote a Godly cause to help someone. FB is a powerful platform. People take notice what you say from your “pulpit.” Use your platform to influence and empower others. Yesterday, I put out a request to help a family who lost a young boy in a tragic accident. Only an hour later, a good friend of mine fulfilled that need. You can touch lives simply by sharing a good cause. On that note, please don’t forget to like and endorse Build International Ministries. Thank you!

14. Keep it positive. Criticism doesn’t work. People do more of what we brag about and less of what we nag about. Do not criticize authority, management or the government. One day you and your decedents will be in the position of authority. Don’t sabotage your/their future. You’ll never attain what you criticize others for. If you’re not directly responsible, leave it alone. Prayer will do more than our criticism. Use the same effort and energy to do what God has called you to do. Remember, you have limited resources – especially time.

15. Post pictures. Start with your own profile. You’re on social media! A picture is worth a thousand words! Occasionally post pictures of good times with your friends, family and places you’ve been to. Highlight your friends and their interest. Like their photos – especially their kids. Parents love to show off their kids. When we engage with their posts, we’re empowering the parents.

16. Share a wholesome song or a video that you like. Quote, Bible verses and inspirations are great also but use them sparingly.

17. Set a time limit per day/week to be on social media. Avoid the temptation to mindlessly browse endless hours. Share your thoughts, read what others have to say and get offline and get on with your life. This is a communications tool not a chat room.

18. Learn to ignore. This is difficult with people with strong values. When we engage with comments we don’t agree with we’re wasting our valuable, limited resources on trying to make everyone think like us. They have other things to say where you can make a positive deposit. Don’t get drawn into conflict. Walk away.

19. Do not accept games request. Please don’t send them to others either. You’ll lose friends faster than you think. It’s considered spam. It irritates people.

20. Friend people you know. Accept friend requests from people you know or a trusted source. Don’t get hooked on the numbers game. Most people who have thousands of friends online have very few real life relationships where it counts the most. Get off online and build offline relationships.

Friends, I hope you’ll get at least one thing that might be helpful to you. I appreciate all the “shares” yesterday. Yes, if we like, share, influence and educate others we have a potential to impact a billion people who are on Facebook and other social media. I “like” you!

“Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:4 ESV).

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20 Facebook Etiquettes

Not too long ago, my oldest daughter joined millions on Facebook (FB). I wrote a few guidelines to protect her from online intruders as well as dos and don’ts to build an online presence. Some of this may be applicable to you.

1. Anything you share on FB is for the world to know. Don’t be upset saying, “There is no privacy.” You’re giving your consent for the world to see when you sign up for FB. Don’t blame FB for changing their privacy policy … again!

2. Don’t get naked, both physical and even more importantly - emotionally. Don’t post anything on social media when you’re feeling down, depressed and upset. Have some self-control and take at least a 48 hour break. You’ll be amazed how your feelings will change and you’ll thank yourself for not putting your passing thoughts for the world to know.

3. Don’t vent on FB. It’s one thing to be real but another thing to advertise your worst experiences to the world. Don’t trash-talk about people especially, your family and friends. You belittle yourself when you talk down on people. We’re to build people up and not tear them down. You must vent but talk to a real friends offline, who won’t judge your feelings.

5. Don’t be shallow. The world doesn’t care when/what you eat, sleep or how you like your coffee. Share things that are deeper than the mundane things of your life.

6. Life is a boomerang. Whatever message you send out will echo back to you! Take interest in other people and they’ll take interest in yours.

7. Resist the temptation to fire your opinion when you don’t agree with a statement other people have posted, especially on their wall. Accept the opinion of others. If the message could be interpreted in two ways, the author meant for you to look at it the most positive way.

8. Never criticize anyone on FB. Criticism is like a cancer. You can kill a gossip or spread it. How would you want others to gossip about you? When we criticize, we’re raising our children and grandchildren to be cynical, harsh and judgmental. Even God doesn’t judge a man until the end of his days, why should you and I? You don’t know what people are going through. You don’t know what made them form their opinion. If you want to be like Jesus, stop throwing stones at people.

9. Agree to disagree. Everyone has the right to voice their own opinion but that doesn’t mean you have to exercise your right. There’s no need to put anyone down just because you disagree (or worse, don’t like the person). You don’t have to agree but you don’t have to condemn them either. Find a common ground to agree.

10. Do not argue. It is a waste of time. People will not change just because you’re right. They have to be hungry for it. Let the Holy Spirit do His job to convict and convince people.

Social media is a wonderful, powerful and fun place to be. It’s a platform to share your life and interest with the world and vise versa. Use it to glorify God and build people up. Make others look good and God will help you shine.

To be continued tomorrow (11-20)…

“Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone” (Colossians 4:6 NIV).

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