Building People. Spreading Hope.

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Speak Life into Your Marriage

 
Marriage can be bliss or it can be a curse. God instituted marriage therefore; it is supposed to be a blessing. God is always for a good marriage but it’s up to two people to decide what the quality of the relationship will be.
 
We all know people who are enduring marriage. Life is short and a marriage is to safeguard a life of peace, pleasure, and prosperity in the safety of a mate. Unfortunately, many marriages today are suffering because one or both partners have given up on their marriage. They’re enduring instead of enjoying each other. Today I want to give you five keys that will breathe fresh life into your marriage.
 
1. Have a vision for your marriage. Without a goal, anyone can be lost in transit. Unless we have clear goals, we’ll be confused at best. A goal can be spiritual, financial, physical, or emotional. Unless both spouses know what they want from each other, it is hard to please the other person. Talk about your expectations, write them down, and then revisit them periodically to make sure you’re making progress. Life comes in seasons. Stay current with your needs and the season you’re in. 
 
2. Speak life. Our lives are as good as the words we speak. This may sound absurd but there’s tremendous power in our words. Think about it! God spoke the world into existence. When we speak positive, uplifting words over ourselves and each other, we’ll eat the fruit of it. Words are like an echo; whatever we send out will come back to us. It is easy to make sarcastic, hurtful, and cutting remarks but like a burn, those words sting our souls for months to come. On the contrary, when we make a positive deposit of building our mate up with words, it’s like putting money in a savings account. You can draw all you want, limited only by what you put in. If we’re drawing more than we deposit, one day we may have to face a bankruptcy. When you’re upset and you feel like speaking out the most is the time for you to say the least. Make a habit of saying something good about your spouse every single day. A person can live on a kind, appreciative word for a month! Speak life.
 
3. Focus on what’s working. Forgive and forget what your partner did in 1957! Bury the past and forgive quickly. Fight for peace and not for winning arguments. Most people make the mistake of focusing on what’s not working. Remember, nobody is perfect — not even you! If we’re using all our energy looking for faults then we’ll not have any energy left to find the gold in the other. Remind yourself why you fell in love. Find ways to unite. Invest in each other. A marriage left alone is like a beautiful garden only to someday be taken over by weeds. If you stay focused on planting good seeds, your garden will continue to produce beautiful flowers.
 
4. Communicate. People are not mind-readers. Find a way to express your feelings without the drama. You have to be precise but you also have to be diplomatic. Don’t tell it the way it is. When, and how, you share your feelings is as important as what you share. Ninety percent of our communication is non-verbal. Hold hands, look each other in the eye. When we say a hard thing in a kind way, it’s a lot more palatable. When you make a mistake don’t make excuses. Be the bigger person and say, “I made a mistake. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again.” Become a lifelong learner of communication.
 
5. Enjoy each other. Nobody likes to be around a stick in the mud. Yes, we need to save for the future but don’t be stingy. Details are important and the house doesn’t get cleaned by itself but why don’t you do it without complaining about it. We live in a stressful world. Take a leisurely walk in the park, go to a movie, and take a vacation without the kids. Have plenty of sex. You have the license; use it before it expires! Even the doctors are now saying that it’s good for your body, emotions, spirit, and soul! Never let the magic die in your marriage. Remember, fun doesn’t have to cost a lot of money. It’s time, effort, and creative thinking that keeps your marriage fresh. Have fun with each other.
 
Finally, honor God with your marriage. Say and do only things you would say and do if God was present with you. In case you’re wondering, He’s always with you and He is always for your marriage. I’m praying for you.
 
Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed” (Ecclesiastes 4:9 NLT).
 
Let’s Change the World: www.buildinternational.org
 
Invite Sandy Anderson to Speak: Email: buildinternational@sbcglobal.net 
 

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