Parenting can be a nightmare. Many parents
do not have a clue how to raise their children because they themselves had no
role models themselves. Whether our experience was good or bad growing up, we
all have help in our Heavenly Father.
We live in a pervasive society where
anything goes. Biblical values are challenged by our society, community, even
churches and our homes. If we profess to be Christians, it really doesn’t
matter what we think. What matters, like everything else, is what God thinks
about parenting.
I realize that many of you reading this may
not have young children anymore but a parent’s influence never really goes
away, no matter how old the children get. So if you feel that you’ve missed it
in the past, you can still learn and impart Godly values to your children.
Let’s look at a few keys to positive parenting.
1. Be positive. Parenting involves a lot of details. Children need constant reminder and
guidance. Even when they get older, they need wise counsel. When we have a
positive outlook in life, our children will learn from that. Most of the time,
nothing is as bad as it appears to be. When we live a stress-free life, our
children will grow in a positive environment. Practice peace and you’ll produce
positive kids. Say to your child regularly, “You
can do anything.” “You are beautiful and smart.” “I’m proud of you!”
Positive reinforcements play a huge part in the formative years of a child and
they seldom grow out of it.
2. Approve your child. People do more of what we brag about and less of what we
nag about. When we brag on about our kids, most of the time they live up to
what we say. A whole-hearted approval builds confidence. Certainly, they will
make mistakes. Downplay the wrongs and highlight the right. Spend a bulk of
your communication affirming your child. Be quick to say, “Yes.” Later you can add the conditions. The whole world is waiting
to condemn your child. Show him or her some support by being on their side. You
don’t have to endorse the wrongs but you don’t have to condemn your child
either. Strive to be their biggest cheerleader.
3. Discipline. Love and correction go hand in hand. If your child is telling you what to
do then you probably have a dysfunction in your home. The Bible says, “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a
child.” If they’re young, the Bible’s remedy for discipline is spanking.
Never correct your child when you’re angry. Tell them, “I’m about to spank you because I love you.” After you spank them,
hug them and tell them that you love them. As the kids get older, you want to
move from spanking to consequences. Teach them that privileges come with
responsibilities. If they’re not respectful and responsible, they risk losing
their privileges.
4. Walk the Talk. Young children need constant guidence. As they become
teenagers, they’re watching you more than they’re hearing you. You still have
to speak into the heart of your child but make the transition from preaching to
being. Character is more important than charisma. How they see you living at
home is how they’ll grow up to become. Read your Bible, go to church, cultivate
a culture of love, respect and honor with your spouse and your children. Ask
for forgiveness when you make mistake. Put them in the environment where you
want them to learn. Listen to your child with your eyes. Remember, children
spell love T-I-M-E.
5. Be spiritual. Notice, I didn’t say be religious. There’s a huge
difference between knowing about God and knowing God personally. If you have a
daily, personal relationship with God, your child will eventually learn from
your example. Say grace at the table before you eat. Start and end the day with
prayer. Don’t just pray for your child, pray with them. All my kids are teenagers. By the time they got to about
ten years old, they had to take turns in leading the family devotion. Everybody
makes an input and everyone is respected for their contribution. Raise leaders
at home and they’ll be leaders of the country.
Friend, there’s no cookie-cutter,
sure-success recipe to parenting. We have a tremendous role model in our
Heavenly Father. You have what it takes. You’re a parent because God trust you.
Step up to the plate and become the parent God wants you to be. Be strong and
courageous. I’m praying for you.
“If you need
wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke
you for asking”
(James 1:5 NLT).
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