People
come to work with baggage. Lack of sleep, heavy traffic, a sick child at home
or a fight with a spouse can cause people to be tense coming to work. If we’re
not intentional, we drag our sour attitude to work and make everybody miserable.
When
we are dishing out poison, the issue is never the issue. On the surface someone
can lose fuse over something small but most of the time it’s a deeper issue
that troubles them. Today I want to discuss a few keys dealing with conflict at
work.
If
it’s a onetime offense let it go. Nobody likes to deal with conflict,
especially men! I know it comes as a surprise to many but we’d rather ignore or
pretend there’s a problem than to deal with it. Before you make a
confrontation, consider letting it go. Most problems have a way of working
themselves out. Confrontation can only cause a new set of problems that you may
not want to deal with.
If
it’s a regular irritation, bring it up. Spending eight hours a day, five days a
week is a lot of time trying to avoid a boss or a co-worker. Instead of living
in denial, make the problem visible. Ask to go out of your workplace into a
public restaurant (that way nobody gets to shout) for coffee or lunch to hash
things out. Try diplomacy and find a win-win solution. Nobody wants to be
proven wrong. Say something like, “I know
you didn’t mean to do this…” or “I’m
sure you had some great idea behind this decision but help me understand why…”
Seek to understand first before you seek to be understood.
Do
not correct or vent in front of others or in social media. It’s one thing to
say something in the passing to but it’s dangerous to keep going on about it. Everybody
has a momentary frustration but don’t make it the chorus for the day. The Bible
teaches us to first go to the offender alone. Don’t try to recruit others to
take your side when you haven’t even talked your offender.
Forgive
quickly. Once I was really upset at a co-worker and I let her have it. I renounced
my Christianity for five minutes and shredded the person to pieces! Then I
stomped into my boss’s office and chewed him up for allowing a jerk like my
co-worker to work with us. I called choice names and shook my fist in front of
him. My boss was dumbfounded! I was the number one producer. I never behaved
liked that. Honestly, I had issues outside work. I was projecting. I was the jerk.
Fifteen minutes later the Holy Spirit had me ask for forgiveness from both of
them. It was embarrassing but I did it. Forgive quickly and be quick to ask for
forgiveness.
Give
the same grace you need. Whatever we sow we will reap. Today you may be an
employee, tomorrow God will put you in-charge of the whole company. How you treat
others today is how others will pay you back tomorrow. We all have weaknesses.
Let’s not seek revenge. Let’s show grace and mercy so that the same will come
back to us, good measure,
pressed down, shaken together and running over.
Conflict won’t kill you but it saps the joy
and energy of today!
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or
vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves” (Philippians 2:3 NIV).
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