Loneliness is a universal problem. No matter who you are or what you have, every person is susceptible to loneliness. It robs many people of vitality in life, yet the ugly face of loneliness can be overcome. If you are reading this and this applies to you, be encouraged. Nothing is impossible for you to overcome.
Holidays and special events can be a great source of loneliness. When we see others surrounded by joy, acceptance, and loving people, our inner being longs to have the same unconditional love and fulfillment.
One of the greatest causes of loneliness is the feeling of betrayal, loss or death. In each case someone has left us. It could be an emotional, mental or physical departure. When we feel betrayed by a friend, family member or even our own spouse, it is a cause for emotional havoc. Sometimes it can be so powerful it affects our physical health. This pain is very real and cannot be dealt with flippantly.
So, is there any hope for us to come out of loneliness and live a fulfilled, satisfied life? Yes; and the answer is a resounding yes!
There are many who have lived before us and overcome loneliness with a great success. Let’s start with our Lord Jesus. One of His closest friends, Peter, betrayed Him. Joseph was betrayed by his own brothers and King David’s own men wanted to stone him to death! Yet, they overcame the challenges of loneliness. They went on to make history and their choices continue to inspire us today. You see, there is nothing wrong feeling lonely every once in a while. On the other hand, there is nothing right staying lonely. You have the power to choose where you want to dwell.
Let me share a few practical steps to overcome loneliness:
1. Stay occupied. Intentionally create a daily “to do list” that leaves little room for time in your hand. I am not suggesting mindless “busy-ness” but rather meaningful interaction and activities that add up to enrich your life or that of someone else.
2. Be with people. If you are prone to loneliness, you must look for opportunities to be with people. Don’t wait for others to call you. Pick up the phone, put on your handsome clothes and be with others. It can be a great incentive to break the bondage of loneliness.
3. Become a giving person. When you are overwhelmed by the feeling of loneliness, force yourself to think of others. Bake a cake or cookies for the elderly, visit someone who is sick or at senior care, or reach out to a person in need. When you help others, God will assist your own needs.
4. Exercise. When you walk, jog, run, or play your favorite sport, you are being proactive against loneliness. When your body sweats, it releases “happy hormones” called endorphins. This naturally lifts your spirit and affects your mood in a positive way.
5. Understand your value. Guilt, shame, and failure all contribute to the feeling of loneliness. If you struggle with any of these (which we all do at times) the best remedy is to accept God’s forgiveness and unmerited favor. When you realize how much God loves you, you will be more secure to accept yourself and others around you.
6. Forgive. Unforgiveness holds people prisoner by their own action. The best thing you can do with your own mistakes is to forgive yourself and move forward. The best thing you can do when people have wronged you is to forgive them and know you are setting a prisoner free – and the prisoner is you!
7. Meditate on the positive. What you take in is what you will pour out. Music, TV, movies, and books can have a great influence in your life and attitude. Do not give in to tear-jerking, sad, melancholy influences. Intentionally give your heart, soul and mind to uplifting, inspiring and positive deposits in your life.
King David, in his greatest moment of despair and loneliness, is quoted in the New Testament, “I will pitch my tent in the land of hope!” Acts 2:26 (The Message). Friend, hope in our God brings joy, purpose and fulfillment. Nothing and no one in this world can fill the God-shaped void in your life. You were created to enjoy life to the fullest. You have something deposited in you that the world craves. Do not get locked in to thinking how lonely you are; instead focus on how you can lift others up. Accept the way God made you. You are His favorite. People who have left you do not determine your destiny – God does. Throw away the garment of heaviness and put on the attitude of royalty. You are awesome and you were created to do great things. You are not alone; you are amazing!
One of the best ways to overcome loneliness is to help others. You can make history! Check out: http://www.buildinternational.org
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