A family get-together can be one of the most contentious times. What should be a time of togetherness, bonding and celebrating one another becomes a time of conflict, chaos and strife. Instead of wasting another reunion dreading your family, extended family, guests and neighbors visiting your home, let me share a few tips that will not only keep your celebration contention free but allow you to make memories that will last for a lifetime!
1. Accept the fact that you cannot please everybody. No matter how hard you try to maintain good relationship with others, you cannot please everybody. If they do not criticize your children, they will complain about your carpet, the food, or the show on TV. Stop trying to please everyone at the expense of the peace of your family.
2. Become more agreeable. Nothing is more stressful than always feeling the need to prove yourself right. If you want peace, you have to be the peacemaker. You may have a strong opinion about doing something a certain way, but ask yourself, “Is this worth sacrificing joy in our family over this issue?” Consider others and their right to enjoy the celebration in their own way as well.
3. Lighten up with the rules. Every family has certain expectations in place in order to function in harmony each day. Instead of strictly imposing those rules during family get-togethers, allow family members to bend the rules a little. You have 364 other days a year to enforce your convictions. For kids, it might mean going to bed later, sleeping in late, having extra sweets. For adults, it might mean indulging in a favorite desert or allowing the house to be less tidy. Your family will forget about the rules one day, but the memories you make now will be unforgettable.
4. Have a relaxed, easy-going attitude. Don’t make mountain out of a molehill. If the kids spill a drink and spoil your most treasured tablecloth, do not yell, shout or lecture. Take it in stride and remember your children are the greatest treasure you will ever have. If the guests arrive late or the food gets burned, cut some slack. People would much rather have peace and tranquility than a perfect house in the middle of a perfect storm!
5. Adjust your expectations. One of the most common ways we get hurt is when we do not see things from the other person’s perspective. We place certain expectations on people and when they do not live up to those expectations, our feelings get hurt. Do not make the mistake of forcing people to fit your mold; instead, put yourself in their shoes. Some people are talkative; others are not. Some quickly step in to help; others need to be asked. Accept each person for who they are and you will have more fun.
6. Respect and honor each family member. Regardless of your personal convictions, try to value the other person. If Jesus was in the house (which He is), would you be so easily offended or do hurtful things? Be careful with your words. Do not always feel the need to reply to everything you hear. Curb the urge to snap back at each other.
7. Avoid sarcasm and hurtful comments. Most of us love a little fun at the expense of others. But what is dangerous is how it can affect the other person. We may say something in passing for a laugh, but people can carry the bitterness of the moment for months to come. Just like a burn, it takes only a second to say it, but the sting can remain months later! Use words to build up and not to tear down.
8. Communicate. If you are feeling your stress level going up, let your family know so they can extend you extra grace. Ask for help (in a nice voice). Don’t try to be a superhero. Assign jobs to different people, including to your guests. You will be amazed at how things can remain calm if you take the time to communicate.
9. Allow people to be who they are and act in the way they do. Accept that you cannot change everybody to behave according to your standards. That is part of what makes your family unit so different. Go with the flow and your guests just might leave earlier!
10. Make Jesus the Lord of your heart and your home. No matter how hard you try, life without Jesus is full of strife and disharmony. Jesus is the Prince of Peace! Would you allow Him to come into your heart and into your home? If you are living without His blessing, you are not living up to your potential. Let Him come in and open up a new world in a way you may have never imagined.
Go ahead… celebrate, enjoy each other, and make memories.
Merry Christmas and a Happy, Peaceful, New Year!
Celebrate Christ, Transform Lives! Check out: http://www.buildinternational.org
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